BLOGtober Fest Blogging Challenge – Fall Back Day 4

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Today's BLOGtober  Fest Challenge is to promote a post from the past.  I have several that I would like to choose, but two stick out in my mind the most.  I can't choose between the two, and in some ways they're rather related.  So, I'm going to promote both of them.

The first is "Pieces of Advice for My Daughter:  Part One."  I wrote it in honor of her half birthday, and  I plan to hopefully have Part Two for her first birthday.  There are some truths and bits of advice that stand the test of time, wether it's 2012, 2022, or 2032.  I think that these things are important.

The second is a post I wrote after a particularly difficult visit from my mother.  We don't have a great relationship.  I don't see us ever having a good one.  There is a deep-rooted dysfunction that despite my trying, I have come to realize will never be corrected.  In fact, there have been many times when I have all but cut off contact with her completely, except for the fact that she is indeed my mother.  So, I took my frustrations from that visit, the past thirty-two years entirely, and some anecdotes my friends have shared over the years, and tried to come up with a somewhat humorous but truthful set of rules for visiting with an adult child.  I hope to remember these rules when Firecracker is an adult, and I pray that I never violate any of them.  I don't want to be the type of mother mine was and still is.  When Fireracker someday has a child of her  own, I don't want her to have to tell me not to go stay with her, because I make her more nervous and uncomfortable.  So, here is "8 Simple Rules For Dating Your Adult Daughter (Or Son)," or as BlogHer renamed it before featuring it, "8 Simple Rules For Moms Visiting Their Adult Children."

Pieces of Advice For My Daughter: Part One

Monday, August 6, 2012

Today Firecracker is six months old. Six months ago, I was trying to sleep, knowing that I would be going in at 5:30 in the morning to be prepped for my Caesarean. Six months ago, my water broke while I tried to sleep. In that six months, I've read several lists of things from mothers to daughters. Many of them are very long, and I lose interest or have to take care of Firecracker, so I don't ever read them completely. So, I'm splitting my advice to Firecracker into parts, hopefully four of them. It is still a work in progress. Here are the first 25 plus a couple more:
  1. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. 
  2. You were wanted a very long before you were conceived.
  3.  Laughter really is often the best medicine, but learn when it is and is not appropriate. 
  4. Be the friend you want others to be to you. 
  5. Learn and remember the difference between fake, overly sweet people and those who are sincerely good. 
  6. Don’t waste time with the insincere ones. 
  7. Honesty is never going out of style. 
  8. Just because no one can see you doing something wrong, doesn’t make it right. 
  9. Don’t let someone else define who you are.  Know yourself and love yourself so others can as well. 
  10. Don’t waste your time on people who try to play games. Games are meant to be played with balls and bats, not other people. You are neither a chess piece nor the boot in Monopoly. 
  11. It may seem like I let you fall more often than your friends’ mothers do, but it’s just because I want you to be able to pick yourself up, off the ground. 
  12. I’m always ready to pick you up when you really need me. 
  13. Understand that life rarely goes the way we plan it.  Allow room for God to fulfill His plan and enjoy the ride. 
  14. There will always be bullies in life. Together, let’s learn to deal with them and grow from the experiences. 
  15. Don’t waste your time on irrational people. They're more likely to bring you down to their level than vice versa.
  16. It’s great to have a lot of friends, but popularity is overrated. If you do become popular, be popular for having a sharp mind and your kindness toward others. Don’t be popular for being dumb, rude, hurtful and / or easy. 
  17. Especially don’t be popular for being easy. Respect yourself more than that. 
  18. It’s always good to step back to assess then reassess a situation before reacting impulsively. 
  19. For all of your actions, there will be consequences. Make good decisions so as to have good consequences. 
  20. Learn how to shoot a gun. 
  21. Learn how to do anything you would normally want a man to do for you and do it better.
  22. Do let men open doors, and pull out chairs for you.  You should always be treated like a lady.
  23. Don’t be with a man because you need him to do things in your life, but because he makes you happy. 
  24. Don’t let celebrities tell you how to think, believe, or vote. Never take the lead in something so important from people who can only act at being wise. 
  25. Celebrities aren’t role models. Look to your teachers, Sunday School teachers, and real people in your life who work hard and are good and wise to be your role models. 
  26. Always think for yourself.  Don’t be swayed by herd mentality. Following the herd and not thinking for yourself will get you trampled in a stampede and send you off of a cliff. 
  27. Know that you are and always will be loved.

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